Most of you, I assume, are used to doing laundry in your typical washer/dryer. You put the clothes in the wash, take them out, put them in the dryer, and you're done.

Oh, you're so lucky.

I have what the locals call a 'spin washer'. It's a little smaller than a typical washer, but it has two compartments. The larger one is where you put your clothes. A hose attaches to your sink, and you use that to fill the washer. When it's full, you turn on the wash. Then, you drain it with a separate hose, and fill the wash again to rinse it. Then you drain again. When THAT'S done, you take the clothes out (no more than 3 or 4 articles at a time) and put it in the spin compartment. When that's finished, you put it in the dryer. Fewf.

I didn't know any of this when I started.

So, what I did was attach the hose to the sink (check), and I saw the water going into the washer (check), I then went to get some clothes to put in the washer (check). When I returned...

There was an inch of water in my kitchen.

Ack! And because the house is on a bit of a slant, all the water was pooling at the far end of my kitchen, almost spilling into my livingroom, and dangerously close (we're talking maybe 2 inches) from my computer, and a lamp I had plugged in and turned on. With both my feet in an inch of water, I held my breath, closed my eyes, and yanked the plugs out of the wall.

Fewf. I'm still alive!

So, I ran to the other end of the kitchen, threw my clothes on the table, and tried to figure out what was happening. I turned off the water. I ran into my bathroom to get my towels. I laid them on the floor, and they were soaked on contact. More towels. Still more towels. I tried the mop. Stupid piece of shit. More towels. I'm out of towels now. I gather up all the soaking wet towels and threw them in the sink (where there were still dirty dishes, but I'd worry about that later).

So, once there was at least some order restored, I went back to the washer to re-evaluate the situation. Well, upon inspection, I found that some MORON (probably me, or possibly my mother), had put the valve lever on "drain". So, all the water I was putting in the washer, was draining out the drain tube, which was lying on the floor.

Okay, so I got that figured out. I once again tried to fill the wash, with more success, but now, I couldn't get it to drain. Maybe it only liked to drain all over the floor? Perhaps. I called Delbert, who was useless because he's a man and had never used the washer. I called his neice, who was most helpful. Turns out I need to turn the washer on "wash" to drain the washer.

Logical, no?

Heh.

Okay, so I've now mastered the washer, which will henceforth be refered to as "The Bastard", which was what I called it a few times last night.

I'm happy to report almost everything is dry, and I'm not electrocuted.

Oh, and I have cable now! All 13 channels!

Indepedence rocks!